The debate over the "proper" way for black women to wear their hair is one that I have gotten into more times than I can count. From going to a college where most of the black female population chopped off their hair so as not to feel "oppressed" by "the man" to Chris Rock's widely acclaimed, seemingly pro-natural documentary, I always feel like I am the minority vote in this debate. My natural hair is thick. In addition to being thick it has a very tight, wavy texture that I can only call kinky. Pulling a comb through it sans conditioner was quite the feat. My mother had no interest in struggling with this every day of my youth. She was the decision maker in my household and chose to make a change to my hair at a fairly young age. Now that I am 26, I do not regret it one bit. I love my relaxer. Love it. Why have I decided to stick with a chemical treatment that in recent years has been denounced by my community? Simple: It makes my life easier.

At a very young age, around 6 or 7, I remember my mother taking me to the hair salon to get my first relaxer. Until then, she and my aunt had spent many mornings braiding, beading or firing up the stove top for the hot comb just to do my hair for school. I hated it even then. My mother had relaxed hair at the time, so the idea of sitting in the grown-up chair and getting straight hair was exciting for me. When the hairdresser applied the "cold white mud," as I then described it, I couldn't wait to see the results. My hair came out soft, shiny and silky. It made me feel grown-up and pretty. I no longer had to deal with the heat from the comb sizzling my scalp. My mother would wrap my hair at night, unwrap it in the morning, and I'd be on my way. Even on the days when my hair needed washing, styling was faster and easier. I could do my homework while I sat under the dryer, and if I was too cranky for a roller set, she'd blow dry it, put it in a loose ponytail, and send me off. It seemed like relaxing my hair made my mother's life easier, too.

While I completely understand one's hesitance to chemically altered hair, I believe that my hair is just as healthy as any natural woman's. I would be remiss if I did not state that, as with every other chemical treatment, relaxers come with a great deal of risk. As a result of not risking the urge to dig my nails into my itchy scalp, I have had the misfortune of being burned. I will be the first to say that a relaxer burn is terrible. It hurts, it creates scalp sores and can even cause your scalp to bleed. This, however, is something that can be very easily prevented. Had I listened to my mother and my stylist I would have known that scratching my hair so close to relaxer time would be costly. Almost every woman I have discussed this with brings up the issue of hair breakage, a stance that is quite valid. However, just as with anything else in life, if hair is not taken care of, it is easily ruined. Additionally, being uneducated about what is being put in your hair can end in disaster. When I grew out of my children's relaxer and began going to the hair salon on my own, I allowed a stylist to use a brand that was too strong for my hair. It resulted in major breakage. Despite this, I had and still have no interest in getting rid of it. I cannot stress enough the fact that if you take care of your mane and use quality products, having a relaxer will not be the death of your hair. I get my roots touched up every six weeks. In the meantime, I wash and deep condition my hair at least twice a week. To this day, my hair is strong and healthy. I use products made for my hair type and work in conjunction with my stylist to make sure everything we're doing is for the benefit of my hair. I wear it just below my chin, and any damage that was done to it as a result of my early ignorance has been reversed. Genetics aside, I don't believe I am any more likely to go bald than any other woman.

In short, I love my perm. I am a young and busy woman, and anything that makes my life easier is okay with me. I would feel just as beautiful wearing my hair in its natural state, but it is just not something that fits into my lifestyle. I am in full support of women who choose to cut their hair off (as my mother has now done), grow it out into a large Afro, dye it, relax it, whatever. The important thing is that you are happy with the decision you have made for yourself.

What side of the debate do you fall on, ladies? Are you relaxed or natural?